I Would Not Be Married

President Nelson asked, "Where would I be without the Book of Mormon?"  I would not be married.  There would also be other terrible consequences in my life I'm sure, but that one I know would have happened as I faced lots of stress. 

I've shared this before, but thought I would get it here on this blog as a kind of family history and also in reply to Nicolina's post on her blog, "How Do You Do It All?"  http://threekindsoftanners.blogspot.com/

This was in reply to an email from Angie Berezay who was working on a Personal Progress goal.  As part of that goal she was to talk to a mother she admired to learn how to be a good mother.  This was my reply:
Hi!  Well, where do I start?  I did that requirement in PP not long ago too.  I'm working on PP along with Esther.  Can you believe she'll be 15 in Sept?  Wow, time surely flies.

I must say that people think I'm a good mother, but it's really because Alan is such a good father, that he makes me look good!  I know you have a good man by your side too.  That surely does make all the difference and I hope young women will realize that.  Finding a good husband is the first ingredient to a successful marriage and family.

I had a good example with my own mother.  I know you have had with yours too.  My mother said that consistency and a good sense of humor are both essential to be a good mother.  I've struggled with both of those things.  Nicolina has read a lot of the love and logic and she is very consistent with her kids, and gives them the ownership of the problem type of thing.  I recently read a book I checked out at the library, "Kids are Worth It!  Giving your children the gift of inner discipline"  By Barbara Colarosa, I think is her name.  General conference talks are always good resources and encouraging.  

One of the most important lessons about being a good mother was inspired by your mother.  I'll tell you the story.  Once upon a time...

   We were living there in little Huson, Montana.  Alan was working out of a home office with his own lumber selling business.  It started off well, but after about a year got worse and then worse and we were very tight financially.  Esther was born, and she was kind of a fussy baby.  I've learned since some things I could have done for her, but at the time I didn't know.  We had hospital bills in addition to some of the other financial pressures.  When Esther was about 4 months old, Chrystal and Mary were in a car accident.  Chrystal was giving Becca Fallentine a ride home from school, it was January, snowy roads and she slipped on the ice and crashed the car into a tree.  The ambulance came, our car was totaled.  Thankfully the girls were okay.  They had some stitches.  Mary had an MRI because they wanted to check for brain damage.  More bills.  Then about 6 weeks later Esther got RSV and pneumonia and had to be in the hospital for two nights.  She was still a nursing baby and so I stayed with her.  She pulled through.  More stress, more bills.  (We had limited insurance at the time)  Then about 6 weeks later a greenhouse that Alan had constructed that had lots of little plants growing in it, we were planning to do this as a side business, the greenhouse blew over in a freak wind and was completely damaged, all the plants were exposed, all that time, effort and money to get it going.  We were able to sell some plants at a reduced price so it wasn't a complete wash out, but that quickly put an end to our side business.  Sometimes at night I would lay in bed and think "I'm out of here!  I don't know where I'm going, but I'm leaving, I can't handle this.  I love my husband, I love my kids, but life is just way too hard!"  But then somehow each morning, I would find the strength to  hang in there and not run away.  Life got better a little at a time.  We decided to move to Star Valley, sell our home use the profit from it to pay some bills and debts and such.  At one point when I felt optimistic and like some of the pressure was off I prayed with gratitude.  I had a very clear understanding at that time that the reason I hadn't run away, the reason I somehow found the strength to make it every day was because I was faithfully reading the Book of Mormon.  Your mom had turned me on to reading personally every day from the Book of Mormon before all of this mess came into my life.  She told me so often about how much she loved it and what power we could get from reading it, and so I put it into practice in my life and it became a habit for me.  When I realized that it had saved me during that troubling time I made the commitment to read it every day for the rest of my life. And I have.  It is my lifeline, my staff, my comfort, my iron rod!  It brings the spirit and the spirit is what helps to be a good mom.  Education, classes, time off now and then, good girlfriends that you can hang with at times, or sisters or your own mom, all of those things help to be a good mom, but the best thing is the Holy Ghost and living in such a way that He can inspire you, guide you, warn you, comfort you and tell you what a great job you're doing!  I'm sure you are doing a great job too.  So keep it up!  Keep that great smile and great laugh you have going.  Have fun with your kids, enjoy them at this stage because it changes so fast.  Pray lots and hang on to the Book of Mormon and you'll make it!  Thanks for letting me share with you.  We love the Berezays and the Durbins too!  Love, Sheri

 I think a blog always needs photos - so here's the latest happy family photos of Angie!

 This has always been my "go to" story of  how the Book of Mormon saved me.  I recently shared it in Relief Society as part of a lesson.  I said, "when you hold on to the iron rod, it holds on to you."  But that's not really right.  What I should have said was, "When I hold on to God's word, He holds on to me."  He does the holding, uplifting, strengthening and cheering.  Also my life has not been stress free since that pivotal time 17 -18 years ago.  

This last summer I felt a near breaking point.  I felt like the farm was swallowing Dad.  It felt like more that swimming upstream.  It became to me a riptide, or crashing waves that I couldn't swim past.  And of course I couldn't share that in the Bedford Relief Society, because Grandma is sitting right there, but when I shared this older story, the Spirit once again confirmed to me the power of the Book of Mormon, in helping me through the trying summer.  Of course Dad and I had to communicate and work through how to address the farm difficulties.  Some of our "conversations" weren't always calm.  And not every issue has been completely smoothed out.  Some of it is the change of season that has lightened the load.  The first of July I started the Book of Mormon over again and this time before I start reading, I write down some of my concerns for the day and then see if the answer is in my reading.  I record some of the inspiration or lessons the Spirit is teaching me. I love the Book of Mormon.  I love my Savior.  His power is in that book, just like President Nelson said.