Wholesome Recreation

Hi Everyone!

Here is more research I’d like to share from my textbook, Successful Marriages and Families.

“Parents interested in helping their children become flexible and curious should spend quality playtime with them and model good sportsmanship, kindness and fair play.  Time spent playing with children also helps them become more secure and independent. Play is reported as one of life’s most enjoyable experiences by fathers, not because of the activity, but because of the joy of being together.  It is a powerful tool to facilitate parent-child connection because it allows the parents to interact on the child’s level.  Young children love to play not only because it is fun, but also because it makes them feel loved.”

The above information is about recreation with younger children.  With regards to teens the text says, “With the onset of adolescence, many children have less interest in recreation with parents and more interest in being with friends.  As teenagers struggle to become independent a variety of conflicts may naturally arise.  Family recreation can create a positive home environment where adolescents feel comfortable discussing conflicts and personal issues.  Family recreation can also promote health identity development.  Research indicates that varied and meaningful recreation promotes positive identity development.  Parents should consider the value of providing varied recreation experiences for their children.  Healthy identity development moderates the risk of delinquent behaviors. Wholesome family recreation can play an important role in promoting healthy adolescent development and in moderating risky behaviors.”

And of course, this family favorite - 

In my own family of origin I have happy memories of fun times.  We usually had at least one family vacation every summer.  The summer I was 10 we went on a month long trip back east.  We saw historical sites of country and church, went to Niagara Falls, toured places like Hershey’s chocolate factory and Kellogg’s cereal factory.  It was very memorable.  I’ll have to write more details about it sometime.  Even though that was a big event, and some of our other trips were too, I think my core of memory in the wholesome recreational area of my family of origin is strongest in the simple things we did more consistently.

We regularly went swimming as a family during the summers.  We went to the beach about once a week.  Sometimes we would take a meal, or cookout a meal while there, but generally we went only for a couple of three hours.  We also often swam at friend’s pools.  My dad would call someone, usually in our ward and ask if we could come by for a swim.  We wouldn’t stay more than an hour; just long enough to cool off, splash around, and enjoy being together.

My mother liked to search out places like museums, science parks, and factories to tour.  She loved learning and encouraged it in us.  Of course one of the most favorite places my mom took me and my siblings was the library.

I have happy memories of FHE playing games; Mixed up Fruit Basket, Froggy in the Meadow, Button Button, Hide and Seek, and London Bridges.  My dad would sometimes play his accordion after FHE or on a Sunday evening and I loved to dance and sing along.

My oldest sister, Linda, often arranged lip-synching, choreographed routines to the records we had.  We had records of soundtracks from Sound of Music, Music Man, Hello Dolly, Mary Poppins, and several others.

We often went to the local Sav-On, which was a drugstore that had an ice cream counter.  I think a single cone was only five cents, a double, ten cents.  It was Carnation brand ice cream.  I loved their Rocky Road flavor.

We hardly ever went out to eat, so when we did, that was a huge treat. 

I remember going to Drive-In theaters a few times as a family.  One ticket for the car full of kids.  We’d wear our pajamas, take our pillows and pile in the car.  My dad would hook up the speaker to the window and we’d watch the show.

My parents tried to provide a variety of activities for us and they were usually relaxed and friendly with each other and with us during these times.

I know in our family, my family of creation, we have tried to regularly play and have fun.  I’d be interested to hear any memories you have of family recreation and what you’re doing in your own families too.

We love you!

Mom and Dad

Blessings of Work

Work in my family of origin was generally assigned for me to do on my own.   The times we worked as a group or in pairs were rare.  I remember a couple of times receiving some training prior to doing an assigned job, but mostly, I would do the job, then receive feedback to what I needed to do better. 

  

 We had a dish washing rotation schedule.  We didn’t have a dishwasher all the years I was growing up.  I usually had one night a week that was mine for washing dishes.  I’m pretty sure after dinner, no one brought their dishes to the sink or helped put away food.  That was all left for whoever’s turn it was that night.  I remember shutting the sliding doors to our kitchen, turning up the radio to a favorite music station and cleaning the kitchen.  Doing it in this way made it more pleasurable.  My father tried to establish the procedure of washing silverware first, then cups, and so forth, but then my siblings and mom said that as long as it got done, why worry about the order, so that’s how we proceeded.  I remember sweeping the floor was also required.  I probably preferred closing the sliding doors and turning the radio up full blast because of the example of my older siblings.  Even though I had to clean the kitchen by myself, listening to a “cool” radio station while doing so, became a sort of rite of passage. Occasionally when the rotation for dish washing fell on a holiday with a bigger meal or where we had company or something like that, we would have help from my mom or siblings. 

I also had an area of the house for which I was responsible and would typically clean it on Saturdays.  It’s funny to think now that I don’t remember doing any upkeep of my area during the week.  I wonder why?  When we first moved into the house of my growing up years, there were two bedrooms, 1 ½ baths, kitchen and living room.  It was probably no more than about 1000 square feet.  About four years later, when I was almost eight years old, we began a remodel/addition, adding 2200 square feet.  The updated home included a very large family room, dining area, two bedrooms, two bathrooms and extra space at the front and back entries as well as some additional closet space down one hallway.

My sisters and I were mostly the ones responsible for the areas in the house.  When the rotation fell to be a turn for the family room, we cringed.  This was because it was such a large area, one that was used heavily and needed the most cleaning.  The dining area was the easiest one to clean.  I also cleaned a bathroom about once a week too, at least I would scrub the sink, tub and toilet.  I don’t remember mopping bathrooms that much, but I did some.  I also mopped the kitchen and family floors sometimes.  Our huge family room had vinyl flooring with area rugs in some spots. 

I was also responsible to keep my bed made and my room cleaned.  Because I shared a room until I was a junior in high school this was sometimes a point of contention with the siblings with whom I shared.  I remember under my bed was always very cluttered.  Probably about quarterly my mom would insist I clean under my bed and in my closet.

Spring and summers brought more outdoor chores.  Weeding was a frequent one.  My dad had us weed the lawn, pulling out one weed at a time.  After I married Alan, he controlled weeds in the lawn by spraying or sprinkling weed killer once or twice a year.  I was so amazed!  You mean, you don’t have to pull every dandelion out of the lawn by its roots?!  Of course that’s the way to do it.  Alan only worried about weeds in the garden.  We had vegetable gardens during my growing up years.  I remember weeding them some.  I remember clipping the roses after they finished blooming.  We had probably 30 rose bushes along the edge of our yard and in some flower beds too.  My mom loved blooming flowers.  We also had daffodils and Dutch iris, as well as regular iris.  She taught me about trimming those too.  We seemed to always have fresh flower arrangements in the house from the flowers that grew in our yard.  After I turned 16 and went to formal dances, my mom would make boutonnieres for my dates from the roses growing in our yard.  She did that for my older sisters as well.  I don’t know if she ever made a corsage for my brothers’ dates.  I’ll have to ask them sometime.

We had about four or five flowering peach trees.  The trees were very lovely in the spring. The fruit was no good for eating.  One of our unpleasant early summer jobs was picking those peaches, but it seemed the majority of the picking was done after the peaches fell off the trees.  They were mushy and messy.  We encouraged our mom to make plenty of flower arrangements with those blossoms of pink, white and striped pink and white.  We figured the more branches of blossoms she used for indoor décor the fewer peaches we would have to clean up.

Each summer weekday we worked for a couple of hours or so in the morning before we were allowed to play with friends.  Often we would have a trip to the beach planned, or swimming at a friend’s house for an activity after the work was done. 

One weekday summer job that took the longest was laundry.  I remember only a few brief months where we had a working washer and dryer in our home.  It may have been longer.  But for most of the 14 years we lived in the house in which I grew up, my mom did laundry at a laundromat.  During the school year, she did the laundry on her own.  But in summers my siblings and I would rotate a day each week to take care of laundry.  Generally we had about 8 to 12 washer loads and 4 to 6 dryer loads.  So while the laundry was washing, I would read my latest book.  Then when it was time to transfer to the dryers, then I became a little busier because I had to watch the hanging “permanent press” clothes and quickly remove them to keep them wrinkle free.  The trick was to keep them tumbling, to time the dimes right, but not too long, and pull out the item to be hung.  Plus all the folding of non-hanging clothes, towels and bedding.  My mom would drop me and the laundry off and then pick me up about 4 hours later. 

We had several fruit trees: apricots, plums, nectarines, oranges, lemon and kumquat.  The citrus we ate fresh or would sometimes freeze excess.  With the nectarines we also froze some blended that my father would use in punch, otherwise they were no good bottled as fruit.  But the apricots and plums we always bottled, either as fruit or jam.  When I was about junior high age, my mom tried fruit “leather” letting in dry in the sun with window screens over it to keep of the flies.  But I didn’t eat that much of it.  I was so spoiled by the fresh fruit, as much as I could eat all summer long, that bottled or dried fruit felt unappealing to me. Summer bottling was a group project with my mom, siblings and occasionally my father all working together.  Those are happy memories for me. 

Other group work with my mom and siblings included spraying off the house each summer.  We’d be sure to close all the windows tightly and watch the doors too.  Then use a spray nozzle with the hose to spray off all the dust and cobwebs that collected on the siding and stucco parts of our house.  Also washing windows was at least a two-some job. 

There were a few major projects we did as a family.  I remember when we hooked up to the sewer and no longer used a septic tank or leech field.  We saved the cost of hiring out the excavating by digging the trench for the pipe ourselves, or actually, we may have had it dug but we filled it in ourselves.  There were a couple of other times when we all worked together to rake leaves in the fall.  All the trees growing in our yard shed many leaves each fall. 

I think because the bulk of my chores were assigned to be completed on my own, that when I became a mother, I had greater difficulty learning how to work side by side with my children, even though those times were happy memories for me.  Thankfully, Dad knew how to work side by side because of his family of origin, and all of you grew up learning how to work.  

Hopefully you all have happy memories with family work times.  We would love to hear about them if any of you would like to share.   Or to share how you work together as families.

We love you all!

Mom and Dad

P.S. You may remember a quote I had on the wall at times in our homes by David O. Mckay, "The privilege to work is a gift, the power to work is a blessing, and the love or work is success."

Power of Prayer

“Over the past 15 years, prayer has received increased attention in connection with marriage.  A qualitative study . . . produced several findings that were substantiated and supported in a quantitative follow-up study with 217 religious spouses.  These finding included participants’ statements of belief that prayer enhanced experiences of emotional validation; promoted accountability toward deity; de-escalated negative interactions, contempt, hostility, and emotional reactivity; enhanced relationship behavior; facilitated partner empathy; increased self-change focus; encouraged reconciliation and problem-solving; and promoted a sense of guidance from God.”

Isn’t it so great when research backs up gospel teachings?  This is a quote from Successful Marriages and Families: Proclamation Principles and Research Perspectives.  

You all know that we were pretty diligent in our family prayers while you were growing up.  Dad and I came from homes where this practice was also consistent.  This is a powerful legacy of which to be a part. 

We’ve had many answered prayers in our family.  What are some of your favorites?

I remember one spring feeling concern about the summer jobs needed by our boys so they could earn money for their missions.  It seemed jobs were scarce that year in Post Falls and Coeur d’ Alene.  I think maybe Joshua was the oldest at home at the time.  We decided to have a family fast and pray for summer work.  All the boys, Joshua, John and Jared had work that summer.  I think that’s the timeline, because I remember later, in early summer, that Loryn Seidl felt so discouraged that he couldn’t find any work, and I felt so grateful that our boys were working.  (Mostly so they could earn money for their missions and partly so they had a productive, engaging and busy summer.) .  Loryn is John’s age and so I think it was after Joseph was already on his mission.

I remember praying about a home in Frenchtown/Huson.  We did find one up Touchette lane, not far from where Marie Evans lived, if you remember that area at all.  But there was a difficulty with the well and even though we had earnest money and a date to close on, we were blessed to get out of it because the well didn’t meet the requirements of our loan.  This turned out to be a huge blessing.  The house we did get was so right for us.  The location, the water (that well was very abundant), the yard, and then the resale 10 years later, all fell into place.  It seemed like an obstacle when the first house fell through, but what a blessing to have it work out the way it did.  Heavenly Father knows.

That’s similar to what happened with Dad’s office here.  When we found out the location had to be in Idaho, we cancelled the location in Afton, and found the one in Freedom.  But at first we felt like an obstacle had come.  Really it was God providing something even better than we could imagine.  Dad loves his office. 

I feel like I need to keep better track of all the prayers that are answered.  Really every week we have prayers answered. 

In July before we knew for sure that Esther had decided to go on a mission, or even at the time we didn’t know she had already submitted her papers, Dad, James and I fasted without Esther knowing, and prayed for her future.  We prayed that she would be guided and if that included serving a mission, that she would have strength.  You all know how that worked out.  And now it’s so wonderful to hear from her every week and feel so blessed by her decision to serve.

I’m going forward with fasting and prayers this week for my workshop.  It seems like another obstacle that I couldn’t give it last week when I originally planned.  I misunderstood the assignment.  I submitted my lesson plan and then received feedback about what should be corrected.  I didn’t understand that I needed to re-submit it again three days prior to teaching so that whatever corrections I had made could once more be reviewed.  This is in order to make sure that what I’m teaching as a representative of BYU-Idaho is in order with their standards and keeps me and my instructor safe from any legal issues.  I was scrambling to complete it, pressuring my instructor to rush it, and then after prayer I felt I should talk to Dad about it all.  He suggested that I not try and force it.  My grade would have been docked, plus it wasn’t really fair to my instructor for my lack of misunderstanding the assignment.  As soon as I made the decision to wait a week, a huge weight fell off my shoulders.   

Since then I’ve felt guided in many ways.  I completed the lesson plan with less stress and some inspired additions and corrections.  The two locations I reserved were able to easily change to the following week.  I changed my facebook advertising.  I made grocery bag stuffers for Broulims, as offered by a manager.  Laurie Arnold created a radio ad for me.  I’ll try to attach it here.  Anyway, I feel there have been many silver linings.

Since I wrote above, we’ve learned of Esther’s car accident.  As I was praying and thinking about her, I felt that it is once again something that looks awful but will have a good outcome.  How thankful I am that the Lord give us beauty for ashes. 

We love you all very much!

Mom and Dad

Cody State Wrestling

Here are all Cody's state wrestling videos.  McKay was the patient cameraman for most of them and he wisely stopped during down time so most of the matches he filmed are in segments.

Part 1 of the first match against a Marsh Valley kid.

Part 2

Part 3

And the final moment - McKay was good enough to capture!

This one against Buhl, I couldn't find McKay soon enough so I filmed it.  This accounts for my boisterous cheering! :)

Part 1 against Parma

Part 2

Part 3

American Falls

2nd Marsh Valley Kid

A tribute to grandbabies! And their parents!

 Hello Everyone!

I was thinking about when Cody was born, almost 16 years ago.  The time we became grandparents for the very first time.  His birthday is March 22, and it must have coincided with our spring break.  It also coincided with Mother’s week at BYU-I.  I’m not sure what day of the week Cody was born, but I took all of the kids, and I was pregnant with James at the time, down to Rexburg.  Dad stayed home to work.  Nicolina was a driver to help. I think she must have been a senior in high school.  I'm pretty sure we drove that old white suburban.  

This is baby Ruby, just for clarification :)

We connected with Mary at Rexburg to be there briefly for Mother's Week.  That was the first time I met Glen.  I’m trying to remember the name of her apartment complex.  Wasn’t it near where John and Jared lived later? We stayed a night in Rexburg, maybe at Colin’s?  I can’t remember who came to pick up Linda Lee, Joseph, Joshua, John and Jared and take them to Star Valley for a few days.  Then Nicolina, Esther and I went to Provo to be with Chrystal and Luke and the new baby Cody.  Or maybe Linda Lee stayed home with Dad?

Luke was refurbishing an apartment, a basement apartment I think.  They provided some type of mattress or pad for me on the floor and I remember my pregnant body feeling fairly comfortable.  It seems that we got to Provo the same day or maybe day after Chrystal came home from the hospital.

 I tried to give Chrystal all the motherly advice I knew.  I think I helped her feel more confident.  All the years as the responsible oldest sister and she still was concerned about being a mother solo.  Of course she did great.  But it is scary to think of such awesome responsibility.

So this post is meant to pay tribute to all of you wonderful parents and to see the happy faces of your children.  

 Recently I’ve studied about fertility rates and replacement levels for populations.  The United States is still at replacement level, barely, but many other countries in the world are not.  We know from “The Family – A Proclamation to the World” that God’s command to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force, and I feel so thankful that all of you are doing your part!  Seriously, we are truly blessed to have children and grandchildren and to feel the strength from one another.

Motherhood, fatherhood, these are supreme responsibilities.  You are all doing so well.  You are exceeding what Dad and I did.  I know it’s meant to be that way that each generation gets better.  Our grandchildren could easily be the generation that is here when the Savior comes.

I just want to say thank you.  And I hope you’ve enjoyed these photos too!  They’re posted randomly, but I hope they bring a smile to your face.

Again, thank you for the tremendous job you’re doing.  Dad and I feel so very blessed!

Love,  Mom and Dad