When You Love Someone

When You Love Someone

Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed - Dale Carnegie

So I have a lot to say and I am not quite sure how to say it so let me just start. One of my strongest weaknesses (if that is a thing 😆) is that I am brutally honest when I finally open up to people. It is times like these that I am grateful that God blessed me with the type of personality that I have. 

So here's me being vulnerable about what some of us are too afraid say. At least what I have been too afraid to say.

(P.s. all of these quotes are some of my favorite all time. I have them saved on my phone.)

Trials and Troubles.

You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water - Rabindranath Tagore

There is a quote by President Eyring that comes to mind and I think is totally applicable to beginning what I want to say. 

"'Hal, when you meet someone, treat them as if they were in serious trouble, and you will be right more than half the time.' Not only was he right, but I have learned over the years that he was too low in his estimate."

What amazes me about this quote is I know for a fact that it is applicable to our family. Yet by show of hands, how many people feel that they have the ability, the safety, and the security to be 100% vulnerable with the general family population?? Tragically, I can't see your hands. But if I could, I would bet money that the answer is close to zero.

WHY?

Why should we feel like we can't share our most personal stories around our family? Shouldn't the family be a place where we are allowed to share anything that we so desire without the feeling like we are going to be judged? Shouldn't we be able to feel like our family are the ones that will have our back the most?

I feel like the reason we do not feel like we can be vulnerable is because there are very few deep, secure relationships in our family.

What is a Secure Relationship?

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time. - Thomas Edison

Having a deep, secure relationship with anyone is actually developed by the person that you are trying to develop the relationship with. When you reach out to the person to whom you are trying to get close to, are they:

Accessible/Attentive
Responsive and
Engaged

in the act of you trying to connect with them?

What that means, is when I call or text or connect with someone, are they accessible and attentive to my needs and vulnerability or is it hard to access them? Are they responsive to what I am saying when I do talk to them or do I feel like they don't care? Are they engaged in my problems and concerns or do I feel like they can't be trusted?

If the person reaching out can find consistent positives in each of these three areas to the person they are reaching out to, then they will feel like they can create a deep, emotional, secure relationship. And visa versa.

Problems with the WhatsApp.

It is never too late to be what you might have been - George Eliot.

This is why I left the WhatsApp. I don't know if you all noticed or not. It is NOT because I hate any of you or because I don't want to be an integral part of this family. It is because I do!

There were many many times that I would post on the WhatsApp and not one person would respond back. In fact, usually soon after I would post something, someone else would just post something else and the conversation would go in the other direction without anyone ever commenting on my life update or on something cool that happened to me.

I found myself comparing how people reacted to everyone else's post and how people reacted to mine. I fell into a state of constant comparison

The thing about the WhatsApp is that it accomplishes the purpose of keeping us shallowly connected without ever really feeling like we are deeply connected. It really is just like a social media app for the family. The thing about social media is that it was never meant to allow anyone to connect deeply to one another, but rather just a way for people with deep connections to remain connected over long distances. This becomes the problem with WhatsApp.

What is more is that people never share what they actually feel or what their problems actually are over social media. So like, for example, Heather might be feeling so many hard things with her recent surgery, but rather than open up, share pictures of Mark instead. 

False Sense of Connection

Discouragement is not the absence of adequacy but the absence of courage, and our personal progress should be yet another way we witness to the wonder of it all! - Elder Neal A. Maxwell

Does anyone know what I dream about at night? 

Does anyone know what Mary's favorite color is? 

What is James's favorite food? 

What keeps Linda Lee going through all of the craziness? 

(On that note, I don't think Linda Lee gets enough credit for how amazing she is. #wonderwomen)

What we've done in only using the WhatsApp is we check the WhatsApp and then we feel like we can check connections off the list. Check--I know what is happening in Joseph's life. Check--I know that Heather had surgery and that it was wildly successful. Check--I know that Bennett is the size of a small tank

In saying all of this, I know that I personally am BEYOND imperfect in connecting to people in my family. That is something I really admire in Joseph. He is really good at connecting to people in the family and letting them know what is going on in his life as well as sincerely asking what is going on in other family member's lives.

I feel like there are probably others of you as well that are still really good at keeping up with some people, but it has to a group effort. How many of you can say that you have best friends who are also family members?? If all of you feel that way, then let me on the boat because I want to feel what that feels like.

Let's STOP finding out what we think is going on in everyone else's life, and START finding our what is actually going on with people! We ask consistently about what we are all doing, but do we ever ask people if they are happy? Do we ever ask if people need anything and then persist until they give us something we can do for them?

Personal Story

Without hard work, nothing grows but weeds - President Gordon B. Hinckley

I don't know how many of you are actually still reading this. I don't know if any of you even feel the same as me about all of this. I could be the only one (with Heather as well because we've talked about it) who feels this way.

But let me tell you a personal story that drives this point home. It is kinda long, but I think someday it will have a really good ending!

When I was 14, I had a huge crush on this girl named Emmy. I think I have always been a hopeless romantic, and have always wanted to form deep connections (especially romantic ones) throughout my whole life.

I didn't have a ton of self confidence and (while avoiding consequence from Mom 😆) felt like if I could "date" this girl (not seriously, but like we would basically be together) then I would have some worth and some validation amongst my peers and more importantly to me back then, amongst my brothers.

Well she was so so kind to me. We became really really good friends, and eventually (tragically) stopped talking almost entirely after I told her that I liked her. It hurt a lot for me back then.

My junior year, same story. Met a girl at a dance, became good friends with her, and once again felt like if I could just be validated, if I could just have a deep connection, then I would finally be worth something. It would be evidence that I was worth loving.

Something you have to understand is the lack of love that I felt entirely back then. No one in our family would tell me that they loved me hardly. That is just not something we, as Ericksons, used to be bad at doing--vocalizing our love.

I also didn't have any friends in high school. I had a couple of Mormon kids that I hung out with, but they would talk bad about me behind my back a lot and make fun of me when they were with me. I didn't have deep connection with anyone.

Finally my senior year (after getting my heart broken again by the junior year girl) I made a true friend in Michael Hardy. He was the first person that I felt I truly made a deep connection with. I will always be grateful for him.

Now on my mission I got a little bit more perspective. High school problems are never quite as big after you get through them. In fact, most of the time high school looks pretty stupid when you look back at it.

On my mission, I made a lot of deep connections with people. I learned to love and be loved deeply by friends who embraced me for who I was and told me so. I have never felt so at home.

Since being home, I have gone on hundreds and hundreds of dates (I used to keep track and then I lost count). I thought that I was going to marry this girl named Carly, I have gone steady with 3 girls, I have kissed 6 girls, and I still am single.

But overall, I have made deep connections with many many friends and people since being home.

More importantly, I know what I want to do with my life, and I am currently in a major that gives me the wings and the capability and the direction to fulfill my dreams.

I have never been so fulfilled. I have never been so happy. I am still single.

Those are the things that you would never see if you didn't take the time to get to know me.

THOSE ARE THE THINGS WE MISS OUT WITH EACH MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY EVERY SINGLE DAY!!!!

There are so many stories out there. So many dreams. So many desires. So many hurts. So so so many needs.  

Sometimes it feels like a chore to connect deep to the family. Often I don't even care. But I want to! I want to connect. I want to be best friends and confidants to everyone in the family who wants to. And why not? It's part of what family is for!!

Summary

We must all suffer one of two things: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment - Jim Rohn

I don't know what the solution is. I'm sure it involves connecting with everyone in the way that they best feel like they can connect deeply. It also involves people making an effort and being willing to be hurt a little. It is going to involve something else besides the WhatsApp. It is going to involve each one of us sharing our strengths and connecting through those strength based avenues.

If we want to be able to share, to be vulnerable, to be open, and to feel deeply connected, it has to come outside the WhatsApp, it has to come from being Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged, and it has to come because we are willing to work at it.

Most people when they talk to me, often the only thing they will ask me is why I'm not married yet or who I am dating. The real answer is, "I don't know why exactly, but what I do know is that I am so much more than the sum of my dating life. I know that I am going to find someone someday who will blow the minds of everyone around me, including me!"

***When you love someone, you are willing to change bad habits, to work at the relationship, to never give up until the end, to never assume the worst, to always let them know that you care.***

I implore all of us to connect to each other deeper. To not just ask the easy questions (what are your classes like? who are you dating?--even though these questions can be a start), but rather to ask the hard ball questions. Are you happy? What do you want out of life? What are your biggest fears? What are your hopes? What are your insecurities? What are your dreams?

I know that if we can do this, we will all be happier in our family.

I LOVE YOU ALL

Your little bro, (uncle, godfather, older brother, and friend)

Jared

Sharing and Defending - "The Family - A Proclamation to the World"

Hello my dear family –

This is my very last semester of school.  Hooray!  An elective class I’m taking, FAML 100, focuses on principles from “The Family – A Proclamation to the World”.  The main project for that course that I chose involves sharing with all of you what I’m learning.  I chose to do it in this format on this blog.

We all know how under attack marriage and family are.  In Take Back Your Marriage: Sticking Together in a World that Pulls Us Apart, by William Doherty, a book I studied in another class, he discusses the importance of being intentional in our marriages today.  I feel this is so true.  Even for me and Dad, married almost 40 years.  We still have to be aware and intentional in the practices that help our marriage thrive.

We are blessed with a foundational document, the proclamation, that clarifies the importance of marriage and families and more importantly the centrality marriage and family are in our Father’s plan.  I like what Jared recently taught me when we were discussing gays and the Mormon culture.  Jared said that we need to teach our children that in order to be like our Heavenly Father, we need to desire to live in the family unit and to be heterosexual like our Father is.  God’s plan is not for us to glorify Him so much as it is to bring happiness to us.  And we know that happiness comes from being in a family.

To share and defend the principles in “The Family – A Proclamation to the World” I need to be an example of one who is happily married and who is open about the effort I take to make my marriage so.  I need to remind others I meet how our greatest joys, mine and theirs, are found with family relationships.  I may still defend the principles in the proclamation in a non-sectarian way, because of research I’ve studied and evidences I’ve learned.  And even if we don’t know the research data, we can still connect with others when we mention family relationships because we’re all children of God.

One lesson that recently distilled upon me came to me in the temple.  Although this may not completely coincide with defending the principles of the proclamation, I felt to share it with you anyway. 

I think partly due to the way my father led in my home growing up, and partly due to some of my misunderstandings about the role of women, I often just let your dad make all the decisions.  I yielded to him in many things.  Some of it may have been because I spent so many years pregnant and nursing a baby.  He was trying to lighten my load.  But that was a cop-out, unfair to him and to me.   Thankfully he is a man who has never exercised unrighteous dominion and who has constantly kept a completely unselfish perspective.  So there was equity in our lives.  But so often when there were decisions or issues with the children or financial things, or whatever the questions or concerns may have been, I just let him decide.  I burdened him unnecessarily and I limited my growth.  It really wasn’t until he was called as bishop that I began to more fully take a proactive approach in our marriage and family.  I grew more in my abilities and became more “equally yoked”.  My previous patterns may have been a disservice to you older girls.

Thankfully that is changed in the last several years.  It’s another evidence to me that relationships evolve, marriage is a growing and living entity.  Old and unhealthy patterns can be broken.  As I shared from Marion’s funeral, the Savior and His enabling power through His grace and atonement can heal any problem and it’s worth every effort. 

Thanks for letting me share.  I love you all.

History Lesson: George Washington and Mount Vernon

On Saturday, we took a hour long trip away from Leesburg to Mount Vernon, the home of George Washington. It was a nice day trip and we took some notes about what impressed us below.

Reference

We started off with a tour of the mansion and learned that when he first inherited the estate the place was a small 4 room house. During his time at Mount Vernon he added 17 rooms.

Our tour guide told us that during those days, symmetry was a popular element and considered fashionable. When they re-modeled the original home, they added another story; two wings, and two adjoining buildings (servants quarters and the kitchen). They added several windows to the new existing rooms and wings. The top two windows on the left have no function other than to keep the house looking symmetrical and are boarded up with nothing behind them. Another interesting note: Washington never got to live in the White House (he died a year before it was finished). During the renovation of the White House in 1950, President Truman had the foundation bricks sent to George Washington's home to re-construct his greenhouse to its original state. Very fitting since he worked so hard for the founding of this nation and never got to be in the White House.

Reference

 Inside of the house,  paintings are hung in the same place on the opposite side of the room and there is identical furniture on opposite sides--bringing balance and pleasure to the eye. The landscaping was also done by George Washington in a similar fashion with two giant poplar trees and bushes on opposite sides of the bowling green.

After our mansion tour, we walked around the servants buildings and then on to the tomb site. They ask you to walk slowly and remain silent at the burial site. Every day at noon they hold a ceremony to honor the General and Martha. They asked a Marine who was visiting to display the  wreath at their shared tomb. We recited the pledge of allegiance, and then listened to an employee as she read a prayer that George Washington wrote about our nation. It was so moving and we felt the spirit strongly as we heard the words of our first President say... "to do Justice, to love mercy, and to demean ourselves with that Charity, humility and pacific temper of mind, which were the Characteristicks of the Devine Author of our blessed Religion, and without an humble imitation of whose example in these things, we can never hope to be a happy Nation.”

Next we went to the wharf and watched the geese and a steamboat.We learned that during the war of 1812 the British burned the white house but spared George Washington's home out of respect for the general. His home is located 15 miles down the Potomac River from Washington D.C.

After our grounds exploration, we went back to the car for lunch and then it was off to the museum. We learned how scientists, historians, forensic teams, and artists all used clues from his clothing, dentures, a bust ( that was made from a live mask taken and baked here at Mt Vernon) and  portraits to re-create his face during three different parts of his life (ages 19, 45, 57) so the public could see what he probably looked like.

The above section is almost exclusively written by Heather. I wanted to make a few additional comments.

When President George Washington died in 1799 Martha was asked if they could move him to the capital building. She agreed saying that whenever the nation called the General answered. After sometime they finished the capital building, but Martha passed away. The rest of the family felt like they should leave him where he was buried in accordance with President Washington's will. Heather and I felt like Mount Vernon was  a great place to wake up on resurrection morning. We also felt a great respect for President Washington.

He seems to be a man like Alma in the Book of Mormon who didn't want to be king. He was also very dedicated to God and country.

President Washington took great pride in learning. In his library upon his death there was 1200 books that covered 900 topics. He was a self taught man. He was a farmer who wanted to apply the latest techniques. He used the latest equipment, had a compost/dung open shed, and used crop rotation techniques.

Washington was very innovative in his farming techniques and used his crops for many things. You get the impression that he only wanted to grow something if it had multiple uses. We saw a replica of a 16 sided barn that he used for a grain collection system on the bottom floor. He would lead his horses/mules up an earth ramp to the second floor and start them at a trot. This was how he would thresh his grain. He found that 1 1/2 inch spaces in the boards gave him the best collection. He would sell the flour he ground all over including places like the West Indies.

When the fish would run in the Potomac everyone would drop everything to harvest fish. They would process between 1-1.5 million fish each year.

In his will he released his slaves upon the death of his wife, Martha. She actually released them before she died.

During the Civil war visitors to Mount Vernon had to lay down their weapons and cover their uniforms. It was a place of neutrality where they paid respects to Washington. It was also during this time period that steps were taken to preserve and restore Mount Vernon. A group of women saw that no one was doing anything to save the home of one of America's greatest heroes so they decided to take action. They said “If the men of America have seen fit to allow the home of its most respected hero to go to ruin, why can't the women of America band together to save it?” They raised 200,000 dollars to purchase the estate from the Washington family members that were still around. 

We also saw Washington's dentures here is a video of how they were made.

We had a great time. Hope you enjoyed learning more about General Washington. 

The Lord works in mysterious ways

I enjoyed reading a book entitled Hattie Big Sky for several reasons.  One, it is based in Montana and since ten of my growing up years were there, I can relate to the big skies.  Another reason is, it is about a 16 year old girl who inherits a 320 acre claim from her uncle (actually written by a women who was doing family history), which reminds me of my little farmhouse.  And her aunt Ivy often says to her, "The Lord works in mysterious ways" which I can relate to my life right now.  One of my favorite parts is when Hattie gets into the small shack she is to call home and feels as though she might lose the courage she has, she being so young and taking on the overwhelming task of living on and earning the claim left for her.  It is in the dead of winter when she reaches her shack and her uncle was not such a good housekeeper.  Dirty piles everywhere and even mice in the house.  Then she cries out in prayer, "Dear God, what should I do?" Then she hears a voice in her mind, "Pick yourself up, Hattie, and get a fire lit before you freeze what's left of your brains."  She is stunned into action and starts simple, by building that fire.  Hattie's determination would be similar, I imagine to how Millie in Seven Brides for Seven Brothers acted when she came to a wreck of a house and six more men to cook for besides the one she had just married.  She probably feels ready to sink into despair. Yet, I love the determined look on her face as she makes up her mind to get to work.
We've been at work in the search for a home.  It is quite a different journey than I thought it would be.
We first started off looking at realtor.com and zillow.  I think since we had flipped a house, we thought if we bought something older, we could just fix it up.  We quickly learned that houses around here are scare.  A House that is that is built from the ground up.  Lots of people live in a modular or mobile.  This probably has to do with the fact that we are at least two hours from professional building companies.  And the builders we have are in constant demand or are already working.  Land is also expensive, so by the time you buy, you can't afford to build.  Or if you get a cheap piece of land, that probably means that there is not electricity close.  And at $15 to $40 a foot, it can add up fast.
Another rarity around here is trees.  We looked at one home, that I kind of got stuck on for a bit.  It was 5 acres with cows grazing around (why do cows increase property value) and a quiet out of the way area.  It was a white stucco home built in the 70s.  Glen and I inspected it with a close eye and found a couple of red flags right off.  The stucco had water damage, a poor patch job, and was buckling on one side which might be a foundation issue.  The sunroom which had been framed in had mold near the bottom where water was coming in.  There was also mold in the garage.  I thought we could maybe get the price down and do some repairs on the place, so I called a stucco guy and met him at the house.  The back yard was now fenced off with wire so you couldn't get to look at the extent of damage in the stucco, the mold on the lower potion of the sunroom was covered with some slap-on adhesive trim that you see in public restrooms, and the mold in the garage was covered with a blanket.  The listing realtor met us out there that day.  And as we talked about other land or properties he had for sale, he said he had some lots that he was just waiting to get power to.  He had purchased a large lot of land and was selling it in smaller pieces at a premium price.  After this experience with Preston Porter and Porter reality and other stories we had heard, we decided we were out.  Some realtors are crooked.  Next we looked a buying land and then building a home. We have two realtors in our ward Gary and his son Ryan Morgan.  Gary and his other son, Jared, also in our ward, had some farm land for sale.  Fifty-five acres with a share of water.  We had been working with Ryan a bit and we asked him about this land.  It was listed a little high we thought so we weren't sure we were going to do any further investigation on it.  We asked Ryan if he thought they would take a lower offer and was it even worth our time to investigate.   He said since Gary and Jared now know who we are, and we aren't just strangers, that they would probably consider our offer.  So we did some research.  We figured our the cost of power and easements from the land owners on getting the power from their land to ours. We learned that since this land was off a state road that you could no longer add a driveway from that road, you had to use an existing one.  So we asked permission of the owners around for an easement on their driveway, etc.  After much research and trips to the county assessors, land use office, and department of transportation, we decided we could put in an offer.  We did so and we were countered with a lower price without the water share.  Well, without the water, the land value goes down even further than what they were asking.  In the meantime, we had heard other reports of how Gary often tries to get high prices for the things he sales.  He has a reputation of wheeling and dealing.  And we heard this from 4-5 sources.  We decided we couldn't win going the realtor route.  We decided to take on the task on our own.
So we knocked doors. We looked on the county assessors website to see who owned large plots of land.  We found their addresses and went to their homes. And here's who we met-
Dan Russell- Surveyor, geologist, small lots for sale, ten to twenty acres at a super high price.  Trying to trade with a buyer for land  to build him a house by the Rio Grande river.  Won't sell any more land close to him until he moves. Plants all sorts of things, artichokes, celery, chokecherries, a peach tree, raspberries, açaí berries, and several others.  Would go mushroom hunting, dry the mushrooms and sell them.  Built himself an underground cellar for food storage.  Had a huge pit on his land that he sold for getting soil out of.  Supposedly some of the local schools are built on that soil.
Ruben and Emilia Herrera-Spanish-speaking family. Very kind.  Their grandkids live with them while their daughter is doing nursing school.  Have 120 acres for sale.  It is difficult to get electricity there. Keeping 40 acres that is easier to get electricity to in a trust for their kids.  
Melanie Woodward-owns 35 acres with great trees, horse round pen, heated shop and a water share.  Only problem is she has a modular instead of a house.  He husband died in August of 2018 of pancreatic cancer.  He was a member.  She's Catholic.  She's moving in town to have less upkeep and a fresh start.
Stanley and Annabelle Woodman- She's 92 and he's 90.  In our ward.  He's a builder and she's a teacher.  Good people.  Honest as the day is long.  They remind me of Grandma and Grandpa Erickson a little.  Stanley adores his wife.  "Smart as a whip," he says about her.  And "I know better than to fight with her, because I'd lose. I'm not stupid." Have 80 acres for sale.  In an estate though.  Won't pay them to avoid taxes but will pay the estate after they die.  Not sure how that will all work out. Need to talk to the estate lawyer.
All the people we have met and talked to have been kind of us and willing to talk to us.  They are even kind enough to let us in since it is so cold out.
Glen came here in June and I didn't get here until September since I stayed behind to work on the house.  His experience has been lots of outdoor activities, hunting, fishing, and getting to the mountains in less than an hour.  Most people at the hospital have been pleasant to work with.  I came when the weather was starting to change. I am doing homeschool so my socializing was limited.  The people also felt really cold to me.  No one really introduced themselves at church and my experiences with trying to belong in my calling have felt difficult.  (Another story)  But what better way to get a to get to know the community, the lay out of the land, how people came to be here and feel a love for them than to knock doors.
The Lord working in his mysterious ways.  

Our 2018 Christmas Card

 We've had a pretty adventurous year that started with Mark's birth in February. It's hard to believe he's coming up on his first birthday here soon. After a busy semester with a new baby and working on the side, I walked at graduation in April. We had a lot of family in town for Mark's baby blessing that weekend and had soup, rolls, salads, and Nicolina's chocolate chip cookies. It was a special time to have so many of our family there to celebrate with us.

At the end of May we moved from our home in Idaho Falls to Arizona for an internship. It was the first time that Heather and myself felt like we were walking into an oven on a daily basis. We experienced over 100 degree weather on a consistent basis. Unlike Joshua and Briana's experience in North Dakota (opening the fridge to get warm), we would open the oven to cool off. I think they watered the grass as the apartment complex at least three times a day to keep it alive.

Our ward was very welcoming of us and made us feel right at home. We had game nights, dessert nights and did our best to stay involved in the ward for the 10 weeks that we lived there. We also visited Emily Crapo's family and Annette Tingey (Uncle Royale's daughter) a few times. It was fun to catch up with them and spend time with their families. We saw a little bit of Mesa, Phoenix, and Tempe. I would commute to my internship using the Tempe metro. It was only about a mile and a half commute with a stop right by the campus building and the stop by our apartment was a block or two.

The internship was focused on transmembrane proteins. We worked in collaboration with the Mayo Clinic to develop a drug target for a protein that is commonly involved in cancer metastasis. The facilities at ASU gave me opportunities to be involved in many areas of research that I haven't had previous experience in. We did protein crystallization using a 96 well plate and a robot setup. I worked to purify proteins using a process called dialysis. It provided a good opportunity to have hands on time. I am not sure about further schooling, but it allowed me to see what that would look like in the future. I  officially graduated from BYU-I in July after completing my internship.

At the end of the summer we decided to store our stuff and move to Virginia temporarily while we looked for a job. We attended a fun family reunion in Maryland at Deep Creek Lake with the Cummings family. We had fun playing on the lake with jet-skis, canoes, and swimming. We played games, went on walks, and celebrated my in-laws 40th anniversary. Heather's parents have 11 children (8 girls and 3 boys) and 18 grandchildren. We designed the t-shirts for the reunion which turned out great.

After the reunion, I continued to search for a job while in Virginia. I had some leads and I met with a few people, had a few interviews, but I didn't have any offers. We planned to stay here in Virginia until the end of September until that came and went so we decided to give ourselves one more month. However, halfway through October, we found out that Heather had thyroid cancer. After her diagnosis, we decided to stay longer in Virginia with her family until we figured out how to proceed with the cancer removal and treatment.

During our time here in Virginia, we have been doing odd jobs around the Cummings' household. Heather has been a lifesaver-- jumping in to clean or make dinner when needed. I've done a few things outside to help out including stacking a large stack of wood (featured in the picture below).  I started working for Rich's catering business again around the beginning of November. During the holiday season, my busiest day was 17 hours long.

We have been very blessed to figure out how to proceed with the needed tests and treatments for thyroid cancer. We have also felt that the doctors that we have found and worked with are very well qualified.

Thank you for all your prayers in our behalf. We have felt your support.We know that Jesus Christ is Our Savior that He is the way back to the Father. Although difficult, we have developed a closer relationship to Him through this experience. We hope that we will all come to adore HIM even CHRIST the LORD.

Vaya Con Dios Hermana Erickson

August 16th Esther received her mission call.  She didn't open it until Sunday, the 19th.

The 16th is Marcia Bahr's birthday (and also my sister, Brenda's, btw).  I went to a birthday "tea" that afternoon and grabbed the mail out of the mailbox on my way because I had ordered something for Marcia's birthday and was double checking to see if it had arrived.  There was a big white envelope with the other pieces of mail.  Since Dad often receives big white envelopes I didn't think much or look twice.

Later, when I was sorting through it, I saw the return address, "Office of the First Presidency"  What?!  My heart started racing.  Quickly looking at the addressee, "Sister Esther Elizabeth Erickson".  WOW!

Dad and I and even James had been praying and sometimes fasting for Esther with her future plans.  We included a mission in that, but of course Esther never shared that with us.  We did have little inklings here and there, but we certainly didn't know papers had already been submitted and that her call was on the way.

Esther was already home from work when I got home from the birthday gathering.  I walked into her room showing her the envelope.  "Guess what, Mom?  I'm going on a mission!"  She also called Dad and told him, "I've decided to go on a mission" to which he replied, "great" and then she said, "and my call is already here, or my call came today," or something like that.  Dad just said, "Esther!" Or maybe something a little more.

We didn't have too much time to talk, because Esther was getting ready for a date with Russ Egbert, their first date to the Bar J Wranglers with his family too.  She had texted some friends about her news and her phone was going a little crazy while she was out.  She also told Russ and he said something like, "I guess you'd rather be someplace else."

Sunday morning before church she opened it.  We waited until then because Amori had been out of town, and there was something happening after church too.  Before Esther read anything, I saw a paper form for a passport so I figured it was foreign.

October 31 was her MTC entry date which seemed like a ways away, but the time went so fast.  She continued her landscape work at the Double L until the week after Labor Day.  Then she was home a week, and going a little stir crazy, and then she was able to work about 8 days in two weeks landscaping with Amori's work.

Her temple day was August 29th.  We thought of  going to the Spokane temple and inviting some people up that way, but then just decided to do it here in good ol' Star Valley.

These afternoon shots were before the session.  Here she's trying to show some leg while she still can!

Between the time of her call and until she left there were a variety to events and activities including: a trip to Spokane with the family for Eli's baptism and Lewis' blessing.  Also a car accident with Amori, a few trips to Idaho Falls for shopping and finishing up dental work, and a trip to Georgia with Amori.  Esther came back after a week.  She also spent time with Russ from the time she got her call until she left.  They played basketball and went bowling one time.  Another time fishing with Amori and Jared.  Jared came for a weekend before his school started. One night Russ invited Esther for deer hamburgers at his house and then went out shooting. Russ' car died up Grover Park and I took jumper cables.  She had to call Frances to get a hold of me, because I had disconnected the phone for FHE because Dad gave James and me school blessings.  When I got there with the cables, Esther joked about her pre-mission bad luck. Not just because of the car dying, but also for stitches Russ had to have from a work accident.

There surely was a feeling of opposition, a kind of a pushing upstream feeling at least for me.  I think it was more than just pre-mission bad luck.  I didn't completely recognize it's full force until we got through it.

We appreciated all the support for her meeting on the 28th and the luncheon afterwards.

Esther's topic for her talk was "Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel".  She spoke about physical work and compared it to the spiritual work we need to do in order to feel closer to God.  She told a story about how she and a friend (Myrisa, who surprised Esther by coming to her meeting) borrowed Grandpa's four wheeler late one night to go for a ride.  Because they didn't want to wake Grandpa, they pushed it away from the house before starting it and then stopped a distance away from the house before returning.  They pushed it up the hill to Grandma's house, which seemed harder and farther than either of them thought.  Esther thought of that experience when she thought of "putting your shoulder to the wheel".  Another thought she shared kind of blew me away.  She said she knew that God is important in her family.  She then shared how her mom, (me) encouraged her to come to the temple one morning early when James was also going for baptisms.  We also took Sarai and Danielle.  Esther and I waited in the front waiting room on comfy couches and Esther took a nap, sitting up on the couch.  After dropping the others off at school, Esther and I came back for initiatory.  Anyway, Esther said she appreciated her mom, me! that I put God as a priority. Dad looked at me when Esther said that and told me I should write it down.  So I did later in my journal.  I treasure her words of appreciation because I haven't always felt she has.

We had over 60 people for the lunch.  Our bishop gave us permission to host it at the church.  Everyone pitched in to help set up and clean up.  I'll try to remember everyone who came:
Grandpa and Grandma - 2
Bart and Janet and family (minus Amori and Shaianne) - 7
Tillerys - 6
Taylors - 6
Nicolina and kids - 7
Jared - 1
Robinsons - 3
Huntings - 9
Post Falls friends - Tanner Short, Myrisa, her friend Quinton, Jena Austin, Mikayla Geraghity, Cassie
                               Torgeson, Michael Hardy, Glory Ellison (she and Michael are also a Rexburg                                       friends) - 7
Rexburg friends - Jordan Winkle, Chelsea and Tanner (can't remember their last name) - 3
Egbert brothers, Russ, Ben and Will - 3
Dunn family - 6
Kordy Rainey - 1
Us, Dad, Mom, James - 3
Total - 65

We served soup and rolls.  Grandma, Janet, Aunt Joyce and I all made a pot of soup.  Chrystal made two pots of soup.  Grandma made about 2 dozen rolls.  I made about 4 dozen rolls.  We also had some sliced homemade bread.  Nicolina brought bread, Joyce sent some bread and Cheryl Heiner brought bread a couple of days before.  Nicolina made about 80 cookies and I made about 70, so we had plenty of cookies too.  We served water to drink.

Monday night President Daniel came to set her apart.  Mary and Glen and family  and Frances were here too.  She received a beautiful setting apart.  Frances spent the night to be Esther's "companion".  I don't know how much sleep they got.

Tuesday Oct. 30th we took Esther to the Jackson airport.  All day Monday and Tuesday morning she and I were packing.  She was mostly organized.  There wasn't too much scrambling.  She had been checking her list several times in the week or 10 days before leaving.  It felt nice to not have to wake up super early to make it to the airport like we did with all the boys.  Her flight left from Jackson about 3:20 p.m. and lines there are small.  So we left here about 12:30.  Dad picked up James from school and also got some scriptures at the distribution center, returning the paper back ones she bought and exchanging for leather ones. Frances came too.

We cried to say good-bye.  I felt lonely the entire drive home.  I still haven't cleaned up her room.  She didn't leave it too messy because Cassie and she cleaned it the Friday before.  I can pretend she's still here if I don't clean it up too much, right?  Although we really miss her, we're so thankful for her decision to go.  I know we're being blessed.  The morning after she left I woke up with such a peaceful feeling of well-being and joy.  We're so thankful for our Savior and our Heavenly Father who has blessed us in such wonderful and generous ways.  All the struggles are so worth the joy!

October's Bright Blue Hour

There's a poem shared by President Packer:

O suns and skies and clouds of June,

And flowers of June together,

Ye cannot rival for one hour

October’s bright blue weather.

Although I do really like June, I have very much enjoyed the beautiful fall we've been having.

This photo was taken after we had some snow in the mountains.  I should have zoomed in better.  I was out jumping on the trampoline and felt such a goodness of light and color.  I tried to capture it.

Trying to recap some of the events of this month.  I realize I still haven't shared anything about trek, or even our trip to California almost a year ago.  I'll try to just work backwards as I'm able.

EksAyn and Patty came to visit the Wednesday before General Conference.  That same Wednesday morning, Esther, James and I went to the temple early.  We took Danielle and Sarai.  Esther and I waited in the comfortable waiting room.  (Esther enjoyed a short nap) while the girls and James did baptisms and confirmations.  We took them to school, then Esther and I did the female initiatory of those just baptized. 

Eks and Patty stayed overnight on their way to Yellowstone and then to Missoula to visit the Lindsays.   We served elk stew which they both raved over.  We gave them a care package for Myrisa with granola, bottled applesauce, bottled peaches, and some canned soup to supplement her meager college diet. (Which we learned when we were there over Labor Day was a dozen eggs and two cans of chili).

The next morning after Andersons left Esther and I went to Idaho Falls for mission shopping and a final ortho appointment to be fitted for a retainer.  We got a few items at Wal-Mart, like an alarm clock, camera, toiletries, etc.  It took us about an hour and a half, at which point Esther was done with shopping!  Then we had a quick stop at D.I.  We ran into Shirlei, Heather's and John's Brazilian friend, who works there and her English is much improved.  She recognized Esther from a baby shower, although Esther recognized her before Shirlei came up to us.  We found a bathrobe, two khaki skirts, and two tops there for Esther.  Then over to the orthodontist.  I waited in the car.  Dr. Randall was impressed with her before and after which all of you saw on the what's app.  He asked her for a positive review.

Next we went to one of Esther's favorite places, Chick-fil-a and ate lunch: chicken nuggets.  Our next stop at Downeast, Esther's former roommate, Chelsea and husband Tanner, met us there to visit with Esther while we shopped.  There was a great sale there.  We got a super cute dress that when Esther put on she exclaimed, "I look like a Sister Missionary" - navy, with white embroidery around the neck and pockets!  Two other tops, a  long skirt and two demi-tees to wear for layering - all for about $80.

After a trip to Winco, we headed home.  It was one of our more productive days, which helped us both to feel closer to getting things done for Esther.

We enjoyed all of conference.  Grandma and Grandpa came for the Saturday and Sunday morning sessions.  Their TV has died.  Saturday evening Esther, Grandma and I attended the women's broadcast.  Grandma appreciates rides, especially at night.

Sunday morning along with G & G, we had a new neighbor, Doug Harrington, over for conference.  We had oven baked french toast with buttermilk syrup and scrambled eggs supreme (eggs with sausage bits, peppers, tomatoes and cheese).  Doug is not a member, but very interested.  He is retired military.  He's married.  His wife has MS and was not feeling well enough that morning to come.  

We had lunch at Bart and Janet's and enjoyed the second session with them and G&G too. 

Esther left with Amori and Frances after that final session to do some mission photos with the fall colors and the sunlight just right.

This is one of my favorites, but she doesn't like the circle of hair on her shoulder.  So she's tried to edit it out, but here it is in fully unedited form.

After the photo session, we went as a family to the Egberts.  Esther's friend, Russ.  We played games.  Catchphrase was fun with lots of charades on the part of the Egbert brothers that were quite comical.  We also introduced them to Oink Piggy Oink, which produced hilarious results, and Mixed Up Fruit Basket.  

We've had several times looking for cattle.  The Monday after conference we went out and the weather was so nice, so pleasant and beautiful.  We went after Dad got home from work.  Dad, me, James, Esther and Russ.  We parked a 4 wheeler and motorcycle, at the mouth of Strawberry canyon, and then James used the other 4 wheeler to start at another end.  But when Dad and I were on the side of a mountain and he received a call from a guy giving us a lead where the cattle might be, we walked back to get the motorcycle and 4 wheeler, but James had taken the keys, for a security precaution. So we walked a ways to above our land until we connected with the rest.  We didn't see any cattle, but we did see some elk and heard some bugling.  The 5 of us rode the one 4 wheeler back to Grandma's.  While the others picked up the other bikes, I put dinner on the table.  I really enjoyed being out that night.  The outdoors were beautiful, I appreciated seeing a small slice of all the effort Dad and James put into finding cattle, and helping Grandpa.  

This photo is from another time when Esther, Dad and Grandpa were out looking for cattle, again with no luck.  The Monday of Elk season opening, Dad, James and Esther were all gone.  Grandpa called looking for help because of a tip call he'd gotten.  So I went behind him on our 4 wheeler.  After 2 hours, again, no luck.  But we finally did get 6 of them last week.  Dad thinks that is all of them, but we need to do a final count.

Another outdoor project we've had is preparing an electric fence on our land to pasture horses.  

Our neighbor, Cynthia Lummis, her foreman, Nick Aullman contacted us about pasturing horses from outfitters in the off season.  We will be paid, but more than that, we felt it was a good opportunity to start using our land.

Dad pounded more than 70 of those posts.  James was gone to Provo to visit Jared and go to the BYU v Hawaii game so Esther and I were Dad's main helpers.  We order the electric wire about a week ago, and hopefully it will come today and we can complete the fence.

I think it was the end of September or first part of October, Copper was killed by a car.  I felt it was my fault.  It was the first time I had taken him on the road.  I had him sit each time a car came by and he was listening.  But one thing he didn't listen well was when there were other dogs around.  He saw some dogs across the street, kind of by the mailboxes.  I called him back.  We were almost home.  Then a car came as fast as could be, hit Copper, didn't even pause or stop or slow down or anything.  He was gone that fast.  I was grateful he didn't suffer the way Buddy did.  A neighbor helped me put Copper into the back of her pickup and we brought him home.  I left then and spend most of the evening at the library (since I don't drink in a bar, ha, ha). Dad was so kind about everything.  He had the kitchen all cleaned up when I got home.  He hugged me and helped me.  He, James and Esther, had buried Copper by Buddy.  This was the rose Dad brought me the next day.  The photo is when the rose is about 10 days old.

The next day Cody came for a couple of days.  He was on spud harvest.  Dad met Chrystal part way to pick him up. We enjoyed having him here.  He was very sad for us about Copper.  He helped pick apples at Grandma's one afternoon while James was at school.  James had that Friday off.  They did go out hunting a little, but no luck.  They did have fun with Esther to go to a shooting range, for archery in Afton.  A virtual type of screen.  Cody enjoyed the mountains too.  He was also here when we got most of the cattle the first time, about 45 or so of them.  We were glad for his help.  

Well that's about all I can do now.  Thanks for enduring this long post.  There's so much that's been happening.  I think of all of you and try to savor things I want to post.  Now I've done one.  I'll keep trying for more!  I love you!  Mom